Trauma-Informed Recovery from Coercive Control in Relationships, Cults, and High-Control Religion. Reclaiming Autonomy and Inner Guidance
Understanding Coercive Control
Coercive control works by shrinking choices, isolating community, and overriding inner signals. Whether it happened in a religious organization, intimate relationship, family system, or other high-control group, the patterns are remarkably similar: your autonomy gets eroded gradually, often in the name of love, spiritual growth, or protection.
If you doubt your own memory, values, or intuition—there's nothing "wrong" with you. That's what the system was designed to produce. Coercive environments deliberately create confusion about what's real, what's healthy, and what you can trust about yourself. This isn't a character flaw or spiritual failing on your part.
Recovery is possible and practical, step by step. Your inner compass still exists, even when it feels buried or broken. With the right support, you can learn to hear and trust your own voice again.
The Unique Challenges of Recovery
Untangling loyalty and fear without losing what matters to you — Learning to separate healthy connections from coercive bonds while honoring genuine relationships and values that remain meaningful.
Rebuilding self-trust after gaslighting and spiritual override — Reconnecting with your own intuition, emotions, and decision-making capacity when these have been systematically undermined.
Reclaiming safe community and belonging — Finding your people and your place when previous communities may have been conditional, controlling, or cut off entirely.
Navigating family and relationship dynamics when beliefs diverge — Managing complex relationships with loved ones who remain in high-control systems or hold different beliefs.
Integrating meaning and spirituality on your own terms — Exploring what faith, purpose, or spiritual connection means to you without coercion, pressure, or predetermined conclusions.
Therapeutic Approach
My practice combines evidence-based trauma therapy with deep respect for your inner wisdom and spiritual journey. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps the nervous system file what happened so the past stops running the present. This allows your body to release the hypervigilance, shame, and fear that often linger after coercive experiences.
Soul Unity Therapy integrates this evidence-based care with spiritual wisdom, honoring your inner guidance rather than overriding it. Unlike the systems you've experienced, it recognizes you as the expert on your own life and healing journey. We proceed at your pace, with consent at every step.
Recovery doesn't mean forgetting your past or abandoning everything you once believed. It means reclaiming your right to choose what serves you, what connects you to meaning, and how you want to live. Together, we'll create space for you to explore, question, and decide what feels authentic and life-giving.
What Sessions Look Like
Safety and pacing agreements that you can adjust anytime — You control the speed and depth of our work, with full permission to pause, redirect, or take breaks as needed.
Education about coercive tactics — Understanding how control systems operate reduces shame and confusion, helping you see patterns clearly without judgment.
EMDR preparation, resourcing, and processing when you're ready — Building internal stability and coping resources before processing trauma, ensuring you feel grounded throughout.
Tools to notice and trust your signals again — Practical exercises to reconnect with your emotions, intuition, and body wisdom that may have been suppressed.
Boundaries and communication support for complex relationships — Learning to navigate ongoing relationships with family, former community members, or others while protecting your healing.
Integration support for meaning and spirituality — Exploring questions of faith, purpose, and belonging at your own pace, without pressure toward any particular outcome.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do we have to talk about everything that happened? No. You decide what to share and when. We work with what you bring, at the pace that feels manageable. Sometimes less is more—small steps often create lasting change without overwhelming your system.
Is EMDR safe for religious trauma? Yes, when properly prepared and entirely voluntary. We'll spend time building resources and safety before any processing begins. You maintain complete control over what we address and can pause or adjust at any time.
Can my partner or family members be involved in therapy? Sometimes, with your clear consent and carefully established boundaries. Any family or couples work happens only when it serves your healing and autonomy, never to pressure reconciliation or compromise your recovery.
How long does recovery take? Recovery is highly individual and depends on many factors including the duration and intensity of what you experienced, your support system, and your own resilience. We focus on sustainable progress rather than rushing toward arbitrary timelines.
Ethics & Boundaries
Client autonomy, consent, and confidentiality guide every session. No religious advice is provided. Your choices about belief, relationships, and life direction remain entirely your own. If you're ready to explore, we'll take it one step at a time. You decide the pace and the path. There's no pressure to commit to anything beyond what feels right for you in each moment.